miscellany: vol. 19

summer is almost over; though we have several weeks left, some of those weeks will be spent in preparations and looking-forwards-to so that they feel like “pre-fall” rather than “end-of-summer” as they truly are.

This summer I didn’t do much by ways of craft projects (aside from rearranging the furniture and clearing out junk we don’t need) or yard projects (bryan built the kid’s playhouse and swingset though) or even very much writing (or submitting my writing…sigh). 

I did teach a bit online to help finish up paying off our debt—we’ll be debt-free by the end of the year if we keep up our frugalness! Goodbye student loans!  I lost all the rest of the babyweight + 5lbs more. we traveled quite a bit—seeing family and some friends—and have one more trip planned before the summer is out.

but I told myself at the beginning of the summer that this was NOT going to be a to-do list summer—I was going to take things as they came, do what I could, not live by the striving for unattainable goals. And I did just that and don’t regret it a bit. I could have possibly done more—maybe—but I don’t know if I would have enjoyed this summer as much as I have living a little bit more carefree, a little bit more relaxed into the ease and grace of God’s love.

the notebook:
I’m auditing a poetry coop class on prose poetry right now, and I’m reading reading reading, while I still have time for reading. I’ve been writing a bit more the past few weeks then I did earlier this summer, but I’m not thrilled with my work. I think much of this has to do with the fact that my extended family is going through some Stuff and I feel too emotional about it to write good poetry. The average person might think poets are just spilling over with emotion all the time and that’s where poetry comes from—it doesn’t for me. I clam up, often as not.  So there’s been a few little guarded poems and a few poems I wouldn’t want many people to read (the “to be burnt” pile). I suspect I’ll get back into a writing rhythm (and submitting rhythm—haven’t sent poems out in Months!) once the fall comes.

the hubs:
bryan is making music, lots and lots of music (good music! and I’m pretty snobby about music). we wrote 1 song together this summer and want to write more. he finished his collection of songs that were inspired by the lord’s prayer. So now he’s working on recording them  from home (I’ll share them here when they’re out).

he’s nervous about it—putting his music Out There—but I keep telling him what I was told when I was nervous about putting my poetry out there—artwork is a gift, and it glorifies God to share it with the world.

oh hum, how does this work with what I said just now about my own work…. Do I contradict myself? so I contradict myself.

the little one:
at the end of august I plan on starting some “pre-school” K3 with zu. I have no idea at all what I’m doing—I was never homeschooled and didn’t know homeschoolers growing up.  BUT I surely know the stuff she needs to learn (I’ve got the alphabet DOWN!), so we’re going to give it a shot.  

I made her a little “school” area in the corner of the playroom—makeshift desk, chair, her own
bookshelf blockaded from june’s gleeful destruction.  I’m doing a program I read on a mom blog that I found through pinterest. This is probably sketch and not the best homeschooling material out there, but  I figure that since preschool is optional anyway, anything I teach her counts.

In addition to that, I’m thinking of buying a jesus storybook bible study guide or making one up myself (on the list of goals this mom uses, I added a “faith” section, where we’ll study the JSB, short memory verses, and learning to pray)

Ok—readers, you may now leave all of your homeschooling advice in the comments area, thank you!

the littlest:
june has left the colicky throws of infant-hood behind and fully thrown herself into small-toddler(ness?). I. love. It.

toddlers are my favorite. My very favorite. (so far). I love the things they say when they start to say them (No-No, mama! When I was wiping her face. tickle tickle when she wants to get our bellies.  Bay-bee, bay-bee when she’s playing with baby beluga). I love their awkward funny walks. I love that they still have a little bit of baby-fatness (or a lot a bit in june’s case).

Oh and june cuddles! Zu hated cuddling at this age, would fight tooth and nail to be down and going going going, but june, oh june, she runs up to me and buries her face on my chest and nestles and sighs. Zu is leaving the toddler stage for full-out being a Kid (or maybe she is already? She doesn’t hardly toddle any more. she goes potty by herself, brushes her teeth by herself. Hm.)

Anyway, you should see our dance parties some time. it is very squealy over here.

Thought for the week:

“Balance the Day, not each meal in a day”

- MFK Fisher, How To Cook a Wolf

miscellany vol. 18

After a hectic two months, things are slowing down this week. Thank goodness! I don’t think I could’ve possibly worked harder than I’ve worked in march and april.

Around the house:

 Zu’s new pets—tadpoles. Bryan made the terrarium, with stuff from our creek. We found the tadpoles in a fountain at school and couldn’t resist.

This is science, right?








In the notebook:
I tried out a great revision exercise the other day—take two old poems that aren’t working, split each line of both poems in half, then take the first-halves of the lines from poem 1 and combine them with the second-halves of the lines from poem 2. A mash-up exercise. i did this with two poems that weren’t working and came up with one that, with a bit of editing, will work nicely.

The little one:
 Is potty-trained now! We hadn’t seriously tried before, and I am glad we waited because she was ready and took to it right away. The hardest part was how jealous june was—she did NOT like zu having the lion’s share of mommy’s attention for those first few days and wasn’t shy about letting us know. we are all happy though to have one less child in diapers in the house, and zu is very proud of being a big girl.

The littlest:
june has two teeth. She’s working on standing on her own, cruising everywhere, and babbling quite a bit. She still has amazing hair. Dancing is one of her favorite things to do, especially if she can get mommy, daddy or sister to dance with her. I love all those dimpled smiles.

and also:
Don’t forget to sign up for the chance to win a copy of Keeping Me Still in celebration of poetry month!

miscellany vol. 17

Oh I probably should say the past couple weeks have been hard—our fridge broke, our house taxes went up, I popped one of the tires on bryan’s car (not just got a flat—Popped it! with really bad driving, trying to get out of our driveway in a hurry), and the literary magazine for which I am advisor is behind in getting the issue together (oh I’m getting more mouth ulcers just thinking about it!). just life as usual. i feel a bit like "hurricane renee" with all the mess i make.

But I had someone I was praying for very hard for a very long time make an unexpected turn toward the better, and I am so happy. 

In the kitchen:
I’ve made Saturdays my “try a new recipe” days; with no internet in the house, I haven’t tried as many new things as I did when I had pinterest at my fingertips. But last week I started going through old magazines (of which I have way too many) and clipping recipes that sound interesting. this week’s adventure:  sweet potato and chorizo sausage lasagna

In the Notebook:
I read in order of interlibrary-loan-due-date, and the Southern Poetry Anthology: Appalachia is due first. I loved the volume on Tennessee, and this one has not disappointed me. One of my favorite things about reading an anthology is discovering new (to me) poets that I can later stalk..i mean, research..and find more of their work, and I’m only halfway through but have added four new poets to my read-more-later list. 

I also wrote a new poem this week, and I finally sent out a few submissions! It’s been a year since I’ve sent my work out anywhere, so it feels like starting over in a way. 

Also, bryan has been writing like crazy lately! Songs and a book too. we actually bickered over writing time the other day. I love it!

The Little One:
over spring break, we traveled to visit the in-laws; zu had so much fun with her cousins, and, for some reason, a mild discipline problem we’d been having disappeared when we got back. Had she just been bored? Who knows. She is a pretty easy-going child. 

The Littlest:
Cruising along the couches and chairs. Every once in a while, she’ll turn, look out, and think about walking. she’s all about table food now—I can barely get her to eat babyfood when there’s chicken and broccoli and cheese to be had. Too bad she has no teeth yet—teeth bring a whole new world of possibilities.

Last Thoughts:
1. I keep forgetting that my birthday is next week
2. My book comes out in less than a month (april 2^nd! Mark your calendars!)
3. I ought to do a proper blogpost soon, instead of my typical hodge-podge.

miscellany vol. 16

everyday, we take the girls to the park and run and jump and slide and stroll. Our hair smells like the outdoors. It is a lovely time in the south. 

In our prayers: 

we've had an ongoing situation with a family member that i alternate between feeling angry and sad about. i'm beginning to think that it might be my sisters and my place to say something; they'll wait for me to make the move, but i'm afraid to.  that fear is beginning to be outweighed by the fear that things will culminate, soon, to a point where we either must say something or never get the chance to say anything.  so i am praying for bravery and the right words. and for this person too, always.

In the kitchen:
zu and I have been baking. This week we made homemade scones! I had never made homemade scones before—they seemed too difficult. Bryan ate five.  last week we made cookie-brownies, but they made me terribly ill from having too much butter in them (first allergic to olive oil, now dairy! June, what did you do to me?). the week before, we made heart-shaped valentine’s cookies. zu loves to help me cook, though it does make a bit of a mess. She is firstmost good at stirring; secondmost, pouring, and thirdmost, taste-testing.  

In the notebook:
I’m trying to get back on a writing schedule—some nights it takes all my willpower to sit down and grade another daily-quota of freshmen comp papers rather than pulling out my notebook and a few good volumes of poetry. Sundays and Wednesdays are my “writing days” (at least, these are the days I write on my agenda “write!”); lately I’ve been so hungry for writing time that I draft a poem each time I have it. I’ve decided on what I want to write my next book on, so the excitement of that has afforded some inspiration as well. 

dance party

The little one:
Zu has very much been into dress-up and pretending to be characters lately. Her favorites are Tinkerbell and Goldilocks, but sometimes she is a ladybug too. My mom says that of all the smart things she does, this is the smartest. 

She has also decided that she likes wearing headbands and having her hair in pigtails, and that many of the outfits we put on her regularly are “NO GOOD”. In fact, when we get her dressed in the morning, we are often met with her declaration of “that’s no good.” So we’ve taken up the two option method, and she has to pick from just those two. It does sometimes result in tears, but it makes things quicker. 

 Zu quotes of the week:
 
“Where will Zuzu-Kitty peepee? In this cup? In June’s bottle?” (Playing with her Hello Kitty doll) 

“Mommy, I think my baby wants to crawl. I think she wants you to put her down and read to me.”  (while I was holding June—“zu’s baby”)

mommy and da-doo

The littlest:
June is 8 months old! She is hitting milestone after milestone—crawling at the beginning of the month, pulling up to standing now. I think she will walk early, like Zu did.   

She’s started using her pinchy fingers to feed herself puffs and yogurt bites and sometimes little bits of mushy table food—no teeth yet, so table food is limited.   

I’m looking forward to june being able to walk—she so badly wants to join zu in running around the house that she just about jumps out of my arms!

miscellany: vol. 15

The Blizzard!

Our little southern town got three inches of snow last week, shutting everything down for four days! Bryan and I grew up in the south, but we had yet to see such complete over-reaction. We were happy to have the extra family time though, and  even managed to take a trip to the Chattanooga aquarium. Zu loved the snow, and we all did a bit of sledding in the back yard—that is when having a hilly yard comes in handy!

In the notebook:

I have half a poem written; I’ve been going through some exercises in Wingbeats with my advanced poetry class, and there’s one that is an absolute hit! My students had such luck with it that I gave it a shot myself—it’s a fourteen line, fairly restriction-heavy exercise, but the restrictions tended to get my students thinking rather than stall them out. email me if you’d like me to send you the exercise too. 

also, i know what i'm going to write my next book about (in the next five...or ten years, who knows). so that is exciting too.

On the bookshelf:

I just finished Absolute Simplicity by Jan Johnson, about simplicity and abstaining/fasting from certain things—media, food, etc—as a spiritual discipline. The book was extremely challenging to me, in a good way, but I wish it emphasized the gospel more—I came away feeling like I needed to start living by all these self-improving rules, when really I can’t do it at all, only jesus can. 

now I’m reading Comforts from Romans by Elyse Fitzgerald. This book is a series of 31 devotions taking you through some chapters in Romans. One thing I love about this author is how much joy and excitement she finds in the gospel—how she makes Christians who have grown up with it and become so accustomed to it that they don’t pay attention to it anymore stop and look, really look, at what God has done. Because He Loves Us, the first book I read by Fitzgerald, goes into more detail on this (read it!). 

The little one:

We did a small potty training attempt —just for one day—and decided to hold off til May, when I’m done teaching on campus for the summer. She didn’t do terrible, but didn’t seem quite ready yet; I think we’ll have an easier time if we wait and don’t push it.  

Also this week has been emotional for zu. She has been, literally, saying “look at me look at me look at me” constantly every day—she is starving for attention. June started crawling and the new development does not sit well with zu. I think zu and I need to get away for some one on one time sometime this week—maybe a cupcake date is in order!

The littlest:

june is Really crawling! She wants to eat puzzle pieces, books, and dvds. Sometimes she’ll be heading toward one of those things and I’ll say “oh junie, what are you doing?” and she’ll look back and me and cackle. 

Along with crawling, comes a veracious appetite. She’s showing a real interest in table food, so I’m going to try out some mild things (mashed potatoes, mashed up peas, etc) this week.

I took her to her first library storytime—I take zu each week—and she was such a good baby. She only squealed once, and it was in happiness when the puppets came back out. Taking the girls to storytime is quickly becoming one of the highlights of my week.

 what i'm dwelling on this week:

"...So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.

Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back."

- Rachel Jankovic

miscellany: vol. 14

it's just me and the girls the tail-end of this week and a bit of the next--bryan is going out of town to lead music at a multichurch youth revival. i've never kept both girls completely by my lonesome for days at a time before. i am stocked up on coffee (oh dearest coffee)

there are some other updates to give, on our "state of things", but i think i need to let them simmer a bit in my heart before writing about them (i will update you soon).

In the notebook:
I don’t know how this is possible—I’ve been writing! I’ve already written two poems this year and have another one in the works. my schedule is literally nonstop taking care of kids, working, cooking and housecleaning from 6am every morning to 11pm everynight--I think I might have written these poems in my sleep. 

and this weekend--somehow--i plan on going through my manuscript one-last-time to see if i should add/subtract any poems. then its off to the editor, then off to the printers....oh my.

The little one:
Disciplining zu has been a little bit more wearying than it used to be. She gets wild when cooped up all day, and we’ve had dreary weather. 

My favorite zuzu sayings right now: “oh, ok” and “oh thank you so much!” and “zuzu only” (said after questions like “do you want mommy or daddy to change your diaper?”). I also love hearing her little stories about her day—lately they’ve been stories about how she got in trouble for this or that and daddy told her no. 

she calls me "miss mommy" now (because i've told her to call my friends "miss rachel" and "miss jessica" etc). this morning she was singing "miss mommy is my best friend, my best friend". ah! i know that won't be forever but i'm happy that it is so for now!

she can count to ten (most of the time) and sing “jesus loves me” and some of the alphabet song (lmnop becomes “uh uh uh uh p”). I’ve been thinking of starting some preschool curriculum maybe as early as this summer; I wish that we could afford to send her to half-day preschool next year. I think she would really enjoy playing with kids her age all day.

The littlest:
June turned six months old on Christmas day.  She began sitting on her own this past week and is scooting a bit but not crawling yet. And despite much drooling and teething signs, we’ve yet to see any teeth emerge. 

The biggest development is that she began sleeping through the night! She typically will sleep from about 8:30pm to 3:00 am (does that count as sleeping through the night? Maybe not… but it is so much better than it was that I am going to count it!). 

She still is a sensitive baby, though. While we were visiting my family, I had coffee with a friend and left June with my mother, a veteran mom of three girls + pediatric nurse + preschool teacher.  my mom had to call me to come home because she couldn’t calm the baby down. June, though my sweetheart, can be a challenge to even baby experts. And sometimes she is crying just because she’s not with mom. 

~ 

miscellany: vol. 13

the nights are getting colder and sunlight hours more brief. our mild georgia winter is soon to arrive. our trees are growing more bare, i pull out our sweaters from the boxes i stored them in last year. this week i wrote out a family state-of-the-union and some of our ideas and hopes for our family for the next five years. its something for me to look at when i'm bogged down mid-semester with freshmen papers, for us to look at when the budget is too tight to do whatever it is we're hoping to do, and to anchor us--a bird's eye view of the goodness we have right now and that silver-lined horizon.

~ in the notebook:
i finished writing the second poem i've written since having june. both of these poems might possibly end up in my manuscript--they're on the same type of themes (siblings, motherhood). working on one poem for a month or so, in small snippets of time, rather than writing an entire poem all in one sitting has slightly changed my style, i think. i hope it is a good change. 

~ the little one:
has really started talking. she's losing some of her baby language (baa-baa is now lamb. beep is car. nonny is sometimes milk.) she is extremely imaginative. every creature and object is a mommy, daddy, or baby--for example, a bus is a "big daddy beep". i love that she looks at the world in the context of family. 

~ the littlest:
well, i wrote about this some yesterday. june doesn't have the colic she had when she was one and two months old (crying from 11 - 2 every night), but she has had quite a few long crying spells the past few days. i suspect teeth are coming in. i think i would handle the extra tears without extra tears of my own if i wasn't so emotional from weaning her--almost entirely weaned now, just nursing twice a day. other than the emotional upheaval, june is a sweet little thing. she coos and squeals and giggles at her sis, loves to play, has ticklish feet and the most plump babythighs.

~ favorite links:  
when your temper scares you | lisa jo baker

"There's no rage like the exhausted rage of motherhood." 

promoting your recently or soon to be released collection of poems | the line break

on blundering | molly spencer

interview with publisher jessica kristie | part time author podcast

miscellany: vol. 12

october. the air is consistently crisp and cool and the leaves skitter across the driveway at every gust. the midsemester crush is past and things have slowed down a bit at work. i'd been working so hard for the past month that it felt strange to actually have a few nights with nothing on my chore or work to-do list! i've enjoyed finally having a couple hours a week with the house quiet and no pressing needs to tend to.

i'm a goal-oriented person so sometimes i get a bit obsessive with my to-do list--cross cross cross cross. but lately i've been trying to make space for silence, stillness, and doing nothing. instead of writing a book review or working on next semester's syllabi or sweating to a jillian michael's workout, last night i took my hour or two of free time and read (for fun), watched nashville, even did a bit of coloring in zu's coloring book (i know, its weird, but coloring is so soothing!). and the next day i felt lighter because of it.

later today i plan on taking a long walk in the biting cold just for the pleasure of feeling the biting cold. 

~ in the kitchen:
as boring as it sounds, i have finally found the easiest and most budget friendly way for me to manage feeding my family while being a working mom! we now have a set meal plan for each week, and i only vary it when i have time to put into varying it (and i do switch up side items). it helps with our grocery budget because it cuts down on buying stuff we don't need/don't eat, we eat out less, and it takes a lot of thought and planning out of feeding the family. here's our weekly set-list:

monday - chinese stir-fry
tuesday - tacos
wednesday -  homemade pizza
thursday - casserole or soup
friday - fish with a veggie and starch
saturday - roast beef with veggie or salad
sunday - pasta

i only plan dinners and lunches are always sandwiches, salads, or leftovers; breakfast is cereal, eggs, or toast. simple.

~ in the notebook:
i have the workings of a poem in my notebook, but its not quite come to fruition yet, and i've been reading poetry here and there. i'm immersed in pilgrim at tinker creek by annie dillard currently.

~ the little one:
zu has begun sleeping in her big girl bed. we needed the crib for june and i thought there'd be lots of drama from zu about giving up the crib, but there was hardly anything. she had a day or two of getting used to it, and now she hops right into bed at night.  i'm so proud of her!

~ the littlest:
june is four months old! she has as much hair as ever and is looking more and more like her daddy.  her tummy is much better than it was, but she is still waking up at least twice each night--usually around 2 and 4am, and she goes to bed around 10pm. she's still nursing, and we've just started her on babyfood this week. we've been getting lots of giggles from her lately, and i think she has the sparkliest eyes i've ever seen.

~ favorite links:
To Invent Your Own Life's Meaning | good men project

"you'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing and to never be satisfied with who you are, where you are, and what you are doing..."

5 reasons social media is dangerous for me | huffingtonpost

advice to little girls | mark twain

"Good little girls always show marked deference for the aged. You ought never to ‘sass’ old people unless they ‘sass’ you first."

miscellany: vol. 11

 notice i removed the weekly? because weekly updates aren't possible--but occasional ones are. so, here's what we've been up to:

~ around the house:
i blazed a trail this weekend! i'd been doing some research on trail-building since we have a treacherous driveway (seriously steep! and slick when it rains), so i cut a short trail from from the front down through the side yard, where its not so steep. we've had a few friends slip and cut up their legs on the driveway recently and i wanted to make an easier less dangerous path.

the weather has been crisp, sunny and cool, so i relished the outdoor time alone, cutting back bushes and raking pine needles. plus, bryan and i made a bet on how long it'd take me to do, and i won (he bet two hours, i bet under an hour--actual trail-blazing time: 30 min., because i really wanted to win).

i still need to build a footbridge over the small creek and cut back some weeds at the head of the trail and add some christmas lights for lighting down the path and maybe build a handrail in the steep parts....but it works for now. i think if i can find time for it, i'd like to continue the trail up the other side of our land and make a loop...but that might be a project for later days.


~ in the notebook:
i've started writing again! i finished my first poem in months last week. it felt so good to finish a poem again that i literally shouted "yay" when i was finished. since then i've got the beginnings of two other poems. i've committed to writing five minutes a day, and so far that has been enough to get something or other in my notebook--or at least read some good poetry. 


~ various projects:
i started jillianmichaels 30dayshred last week. i love those videos because they are hard and i can do them while the girls are napping. i haven't had time to do them everyday, but doing them just a little feels like a step in the right direction; postpartum bodies require a lot of healing and rebuilding.

and i have various other things going on--teaching, my most wonderful creative writing class this semester (some serious talent in there) and my online classes, creating syllabi for next semester (probably won't get to that til december), and finally finally updating our family gallery wall in the living room. i keep thinking about that wall but have yet to update it--the most recent picture of zu on there is her at 4 months old! shameful!


~ the little one:
zu turned two! on her actual birthday we went to the aquarium, and the weekend after, for her birthday party,  i made her "purple happy double" (double = dessert), she had a couple little friends over, my sisters came in town, and zu had a big old time.

the next weekend my parents were in town, so i decided we'd throw mommy-baa-baa (her favorite stuffed lamb) a birthday party so they could experience festivities as well. zu very much enjoyed picking out a present for mommy-baa-baa at the goodwill (two ceramic cats that she named ralph and waldo), wrapping the present, helping me make the cake, and singing to mommy-baa-baa. 

~ the littlest:
june slept through the night once this week...maybe we can get that to happen again! most nights i get up with her 3 times during the night. she's still napping pretty good during the day. she's drooling like crazy so i think teeth are coming in, and she's scooting around and getting her legs up under her, so crawling might happen early. she really has the sweetest little smile and laugh--but she is not low-maintenance!

~ favorite links this week:
Christian Subculture and the SAHM | crosswalk

Gel-Pen Faith | femina

"We are not broken. We are being healed. We are not alone. We are in His hands. We are not overwhelmed. We have a champion. We are not stupid. We are being made wise. We are not weak. For He is not weak. We are not hopeless.  For we are His." 

weekly miscellany: vol. 10

so, our goings-on from the past several weeks. . .

at the aquarium. i also have lots of pictures of fish and turtles

bryan and i went to chattanooga, just for an overnight stay while my parents (kindly) looked after the girls. we went to the aquarium, to five guys, and wandered downtown til it got too blazin hot. we also went to target because our town sadly has no target. it was ohsowonderful to get some time just to ourselves! we'll be heading back to chattanooga on monday morning to take zu to the aquarium for her birthday. her ninna gave us a season pass! she hasn't been since she was one, so i'm excited to see what she thinks of it this time, especially now that she is talking.

other than that, we've just been taking care of the girls and working. i think i'm starting to get my head-above-water with work and hopefully june will get easier soon (more on that...). i'm hoping to start walking with the girls everyday, i think the outdoors will do me some good. we spent some time at the park this morning. the weather is cool on some mornings, a welcome change, and so we've resumed our family walks in the park which we've missed so much.

 
~ the little one:
has started saying "kitty-cat" "puppy" "help" "i did it" "these" "book" and "what else?"
she will also say "party pooper" if you ask her

yes she is eating ravioli and mixed veggies. don't judge!

she has grown out of her high chair--she now sits at the table in her bumbo as a booster. she loves being right at the table with mommy and daddy

we started buying her pull-ups now. she's very excited about them--so potty training is imminent. 

the biggest development of all is that little zu turns two on monday! how can it be?




~ the littlest: 
June had her 2 month check up a couple weeks ago. she's 12lbs and 24.5 inches long--55th percentile in weight and 98th percentile in height. 98th! oh my girls are both going to be gloriously tall!

tummy time, the girls most favorite game right now

she had another big development--she rolled over, back to belly! she was lying on her back on zu's big girl bed while i put away laundry (i cart her around the house with me, as she demands), and i turned around and that little booger had just flipped herself right over. i'm glad i put her in the middle of the bed!

also, june is still a pretty fussy baby. she is still having tummy issues, likely from switching in between formula and breastfeeding so much (we're doing about fifty/fifty right now). i think maybe weaning her will help though, so i might start trying that in the next couple weeks.


~ favorite links this week: 
you have to be willing to waste your time | the stanza

you were not made for comfort | carrots for michaelmas

I think about the great and uncomfortable work I have been given to do– nourishing the bodies and minds of my children, participating as a co-creator of life, learning to love my family, learning to love my Lord. I think about the discomfort of being honest with myself, learning to examine my heart and really see my sin instead of lying to myself about it. It’s all so terribly uncomfortable, because it requires me to sacrifice my own desires. It’s painful. But this is why God made me. So that I could decrease and Christ in me could increase. So that I could discover who I really am

chokey chokey choke choke | rachel jankovic

When there are choking hazards on the floors of our soul, you can trust your children to find them. You can trust them to keep on sitting in them until they actually do choke. Be sure your sins will find you out, and be sure your children will find them out first.

the church with thick ankles | rachel jankovic

weekly miscellany: vol 10

it has turned cool here in the early mornings and when we can manage to wrangle up our girls and get out of the house, we do. i think the fresh air does me as much good as it does them.

tomorrow my parents are dropping by for a short visit on their way to their vacation, and somehow i've convinced my poor mother to watch both girls while bryan and i flit away to chattanooga for an overnight trip.

part of me feels guilty--leaving june so young, leaving my mom with a june who is going to probably cry the entire time i'm gone because she must be attached to me everysinglesecond or she freaks out. part of me feels like WOOHOO! an entire twenty-four hours of just me and my love! in one of my most favorite little cities!

so--
i've concluded that i should just enjoy myself and my mom will be fine watching the girls. she is pretty much superwoman and can probably handle them better than i can.


~ the little one

dress up. and playing on the Whee. and yes, we have a slide in our house.

at our weekly grocery shopping trip, i was taking zu out of the car and she looked up at me and said "i love you, mommy" for the first time! so sweet!




~ the littlest

oh junie, so much sass.

it would be nice to sit her in her bouncy seat for a minute or two while i worked or cooked or took care of sister. but that is unacceptable in june's book. sometimes i babywear her but sometimes that is also unacceptable. sometimes nursing is the only acceptable thing, which is not so good for her daddy the couple hours that i'm gone for teaching.
i'm pretty definitely sure that this one loves me too.


~ in the notebook
i wrote another poem. it isn't very good. i think that's pretty much going to be my m.o. for a while. write another poem over a couple weeks. and know that it isn't very good.


~ favorite links this week:
Of Men and Lit Mags | The Other Mel G. 

I think we can learn from the idea of submission in a literary sense because here you don’t put something under—instead, you give it over.

~ dwelling on:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Romans 15:13

~

have a great weekend!

weekly miscellany: vol. 9

our family is shifting into the fall semester rhythm, the first week of our new schedule complete. bryan is happy to see the campus buzzing with activity again, and i have a lovely group of students this semester. today bryan and i have the day mostly off, and i plan to get as much grading done as i can before home group this evening. we started hosting our church home group again a couple of weeks ago and every week i look forward to our house filling up with friends and all the little ones underfoot.

saturday will be our third sabbath saturday. we decided that we wanted at least one day every week dedicated to rest and relaxation with the family--no tv, no internet, no grading or planning or prepping, just blanket forts, baking with zu, walks in ridgeferry park, reading good books. of course these are things we do during the week too--but having an entire day expressly set aside for them has been really wonderful, and it has quickly become my favorite day of the week.

~ the little one:
zu has learned to take off all her clothes this week, and also to unseatbelt herself. glory.
new words this week: girl, boy, blue
favorite saying this week: "I Zuzu!"
 and the possessive "zuzu's" is added to almost everything she likes. i came home from work on tuesday in black high-heeled wedges which she was Very excited about--mama doesn't wear heels!--so they are "zuzu's". as are my earrings, necklaces, or anything else girly that i attempt.

~ the littlest:
yes, bryan's parents are right-- i am spoiling her. i don't let her cry it out--not because i'm a softy, but because if she cries it out i'll soon have a certain almost-two-year-old woken up and Also crying it out. and when both girls are crying, usually i'm crying too. so i just let her sleep on me every night. i guess she'll get sick of that eventually?

she's getting more alert and does spend some time during the day sitting in her bassinet cooing at us. i love hearing her "talk"!

~ in the notebook:
i went may, june and july without writing. in august i wrote one poem, and yesterday i finally typed up said poem and edited it. i've been thinking on how to find time to be creative. and if this is even the right time for me to be thinking of finding time--june only just now two months old and me starting back to work. the truth is, i miss it terribly.

~ favorite links this week:
hukkster
this website is sort of like pinterest, except it keeps track of clothes/shoes/etc that you want and alerts you when the items go on sale. love it!

on buying new underwear..and making time for your art | simple mom

"not only does exercising our own creativity and passion show our kids that these things matter, which is a pretty compelling reason to do it in itself; it also makes us better moms."

~dwelling on:
"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.   

But when the goodness and lovingkindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own  mercy , by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life"

Titus 3:37

 ~

have a great weekend!

weekly miscellany: vol.8

every morning this week i have had to hit the ground running. bryan worked long shifts during the days every day except for wednesday, where i had an all day faculty retreat to go to.

i planned a lot of outings and activities for the girls so they wouldn't be too bored staying home with daddy all day on wednesday, and i think that worked out pretty well. we had a playdate with kat and izzy, numerous trips to the library, a mall-date with aunt nellene, and bryan's parents are here today for an impromptu visit.

during zu's naptime i plan on leaving june with them while i go up to bryan's work for a lunchdate and to also get some back-to-school prep done that i've been putting off.

oh and i finished a poem that i've been working on the past couple weeks! it isn't good because i never write anything good the first six months after a baby. i had fun writing it though.


~ the little one:
zu is all about the "monster at the end of this book" book lately-- we read it to her about a dozen times a day. but who can resist her sweet little voice saying "again, please?"

she had a tough night last night. i think she had a bad dream because she woke up at 2 a.m. just howling for mommy mommy mommy! but june was currently sleeping on mommy so this was a little bit of a problem. bryan tried to console her but eventually i put june down (waking her up dangit!) and cuddled with zu until june couldn't be consoled by bryan so then i tried to sleep with june on top of me and zu cuddled next to me. i think that might have worked except sometimes zu would play with june's feet and that woke her up again. thank God for coffee. 

~ the littlest: 
june is smiling, still not sleeping (unless on mommy--who needs a crib when you have a mommy?), and becoming more alert. i like it best when she sits in my lap and "talks" to me in her baby language.

~ favorite links this week:
Video Game High School | Freddy W
{ this is a movie/miniseries, and it is not for the faint-of-nerd. i'm not sure if i have any friends who are nerdy enough to love this as much as bryan and i do}

What Real Motherhood Looks Like | Messy Wife Blessed Life

Kate Middleton and the Mom in the Mirror | Joy Gabriel

"I'm not sure when it became the highest compliment you can pay a woman to say, "You look like you never even had a baby!" "

weekly miscellany: vol. 7

the emerson house has been a full house the past week. mom was in town for five days, lauren (or as zu now calls her, "tah dah") came for a few days, and my aunt and uncle came for an  evening, to see the baby. zu loves it when family comes to visit, especially her Gaggi, so she had a particularly fun week, with lots of "double" (her word for dessert) and playing in the "bubbles" (waterhose). mom even brought the kittens with her:

cuteness!

they are still a couple of weeks too young to leave mama, and mom knew that zu would enjoy playing with the meow-meowies for a week. 


i got my haircut

i tried to get a better picture, but my eyes are so tired all my pictures looked sad. i'm glad i went for something different; i love my new style and it helps to like my haircut when i don't fit into any of my clothes. last time i was postpartum i wore fall clothes, so right now i alternate wearing maternity stuff (too big) and baggy regular clothes (too tight). luckily i still have a few weeks before going back to school, and my babies don't care if i wear a t-shirt everyday.


~ the little one
zu has been busy with playdates and visiting family this week. her new thing is to say "i cry" all the time. for example, i might say "zu, time for bath" and she'll inform me that she will cry if she has a bath: "i cry". then she'll work up some tears to prove that she will indeed cry. oh the drama.

she has been playing "mommy" all week. this means putting her babies (various lambs and dolls) to bed, covering them up in their cribs, giving them stuffed animals to sleep with, sometimes nursing them, and singing our bedtime song to them (it's much longer than this, but the part she remembers is "peace, peace, baby, peace peace").  it is amazing to see how God built nurturing into our systems so early!

~ the littlest
june had her six week check up early last week and she weighs 9lbs 12oz now and is 22 inches long. that girl has grown an entire two inches in five weeks! the doctor said she's 59th percentile for weight and 86th for height, and she'd be surprised if june grows up to be any less than 5'10. i  am of course very proud--i hope my girls are very tall, i always wished for a few extra inches myself.

like with zu, by the six week mark june has started to get into a rhythm at this almost-six-week mark. she slept 5 and a half hours last night straight--oh and i feel marvelous!


~ in the kitchen
this week i tried out a new recipe of a soup one of our friends brought us right after june was born-- sweet brunswick stew. i made it in the crockpot, and this recipe is pretty close to how i made it, i just made a few little variations.

~ favorite links this week 
organizational hacks for the rest of us | conversion diary
 
the just-wait mom | carrots for michaelsmas

" . . . in each season I am pushed to my absolute limits. It is all the hardest. And it is all the best. And I never want to invalidate the parenting struggles of another woman who is also tackling the most difficult thing she has ever experienced with the insinuation that my lot is harder. And mamas, I think this motherhood thing gets a little bit easier each day that goes by. Not because the circumstances are easier, but because motherhood transforms me. It makes me capable of things I never thought I could do."

weekly miscellaney: vol. 6

this summer has been so quiet and lovely.  i'm trying to learn to be a little less intense. well, i'm infinitely less intense than i was in college, but in general. things don't have to be perfect and i don't have to achieve. a firstborn daughter, this is a hard lesson for me to learn. i've been so happy this summer, in the sloppy not-my-best, the house a little slovenly, the dinners less than spectacular, my writing non-existent or less than inspired. i've been pretty happy just doing what i can do though. amazing!

~ the little one
the nighttime tantrums are over! last week and this week i began ignoring it at night, and she stopped pretty quick.

one of my friends suggested bringing in zu's toddler slide since its too hot for me to bring the baby out, and that has been so much fun this week! zu plays with her slide in the sunroom much more than she ever played with it outside.

we've also had a few playdates this week--one on tuesday and one this afternoon. i think playdates can be just as refreshing for me as they are for her--it was so good to sit and talk with another mom for hours and hours.

~ the littlest 
june slept four hours straight last night! woohoo! i think that is the longest stretch of sleep that i've had since she was born.

she had her first bath this week, and there were no tears! she is truly a chill baby


~ in the notebook
the notebook is primarily blank as of late--still on writing maternity leave!--but i have started reading the kingdom of the ditch by todd davis. so far it is my favorite of his poetry collections. i haven't read any poetry in at least a month; reading these poems has been like eating a really delicious dessert.

i find myself phrasing and rephrasing things in my mind and connecting images to descriptions--so i think some new poems will be coming soon. right now they are just brewing in my mind.

also, i found out that a couple of my students got their first publications over the summer! so exciting! when i teach creative writing, i'm never sure how many will keep writing afterward, how many will pursue writing beyond the classroom. i'm happy to see them get that kind of encouragement early on.

~ favorite links this week:

the pixar theory { jonne groni }

bed training { life with mommy }

the nature and importance of failure. .. { poetry and effrontery }

being tired { hart & honey }

~


have a great weekend!

weekly miscellany: vol. 5

having two under two is no joke y'all. i am worn out, head to toe. i had the girls on my own today (and tomorrow and sunday too) and besides zu eating a crayon and trying to lay on june once, i consider the day a success. i didn't get out of pajamas, but i did do the dishes and folded some long abandoned laundry that i washed sometime last week. zu is eating an early dinner (her nap was sadly short today) while bryan plays guitar and june sleeps. and some friends ordered pizza for us tonight, so i don't even have to cook!


~ the little one:
loves her new "zu-zu's shoe-shoes".  they light up and velcro.

has had a tantrum at bedtime almost every night for the past few weeks. at first i felt more sorry and concerned about the crying but i'm growing more immune to it. bryan works nights and i'm the soft one, so at first i was going in and rocking her and putting her back to bed again and again, but i'm honestly too tired and too busy with june to keep doing that, so this week we resolved to come in once to tell her to cut it out but after that to just let her howl. a little crying never hurt anyone.

discovered Shaun the Sheep this week. i think bryan and i like it more than she does, and we're picky about what kids shows we let her watch. aside from content concerns, we also don't let her watch anything that we find too annoying or dumb, which excludes lots of kids shows.


~ the littlest:
june has her days and nights mixed a bit so i've not gotten much sleep this week. typically she wants to party from around 11pm to 3am. just the time of night that i like to be sleeping...

other than that, she's the sweetest little thing.


~ favorite links this week: 

unexpected summer { ruminate magazine }

Maybe it is the dizzying amount of light and heat that comes with the season, but I have the strange conviction that there are hours enough in the day. That the harvest will come and it will be bountiful.

 ~

happy weekending!

weekly miscellany: vol. 4

hello on a rainy friday.

my sweet newborn is deeply sleeping sprawled out on my chest and belly and my toddler is having her afternoon snack. i love it when the house is peaceful and still like this, only the sound of rain and baby noises.

today is my first full, nine-hour day alone with the girls. bryan works nights so typically he is home to help me, except during bedtime, which hasn't been too bad to handle on my own. two more hours until he is home.

it hasn't been as bad as i anticipated. i admit, i was a little scared--zu is enough to keep up with on her own, let alone with a newborn in the mix!  there were a few times where i was nursing june and zu needed immediate attention or got into mischief while i was changing a diaper. for the most part though she has been a good girl. and june is a very good baby. so i am a lucky mommy.


~ the little one
zu's language skills really took off this month! mouse, bubbles, crackers, potty, keys, cold, oven, bottle, baby...those are all the new ones i can think of, but i'm sure there are some i'm leaving out.
she loves helping us with baby sister--getting diapers out, picking out her onesies, washing her bountiful hair, fetching the paci. we try to include her in as much as we can.


she has a fascination with the potty. her old bumbo is a pretend potty now. she likes us to read "prudence's potty" to her several times a day. all of her stuffed animals "go potty" on this babydoll potty she has. we really wanted to wait to potty train her but maybe we should give it a shot early, since she has so much interest? 

zu's new favorite show: The Mouse (old mickey mouse cartoons on netflix)

zu's new favorite pasttime: playing with the "bubbles" (hose)


~ the littlest
june is such a sweet baby. i'd forgotten how much i love holding a newborn. last time i was so stressed and dealing with ppd and not myself, i don't think i truly enjoyed this phase like i am now. even with being tired and sometimes overwhelmed, i feel really happy.

so, miss june does have her days and nights mixed up a little. her eating/waking up cycles happen in the first part of the night-- a cycle of nursing, falling asleep while nursing, pooping while she's asleep, getting changed, waking up while she's getting changed, and then remembering that she's hungry again.

that has kept me up quite a bit the past few weeks but she has some good five hour stretches of sleep, usually from around 2am to 7 or 8, then again in the late afternoons/early evenings. that second five hour stretch has been a huge blessing--its allowed me to have a good bedtime routine with zu and to have some zu and mommy bonding time, which i think she really needs right now.

bryan has been really great about taking care of zu in the morning so i can sleep in with june. i try to get up early with zu sometimes but i'm so tired i physically can't do it. once i start getting more sleep, i'd love to be able to take a walk every morning just me and zu.

my goals for the next week are to get june to sleep in her bassinet more at night and not co-sleep with me and to fully start cloth diapering again. 



~ favorite links this week: 

God's Board { Femina }

God has given you a tremendous gift. He has chosen your life for you. He has chosen the lessons that He wants you to master. He has chosen your hardships, your headaches, your health problems, your children, your husband, your house. Let the things that God has chosen for you be the things that you willingly pin. Things that you say, “Yes! This is my style!”

The Earth Is a Nursery { Simcha Fisher }

You married couples, have a baby if you can!  Have another one.  Don't be afraid. I know -- believe me, I know! -- that the circumstances are not always ideal.  But I'm getting gray hairs. I'm looking at the end of my fertile years, and I'm telling you that the window for having children is actually pretty small.  Don't be a fool.  Don't join the crowd that looks in astonishment at a little baby, wondering why she is here. 

How Typeface Influences How We Read And Think { The Week }


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have a great weekend!