tears and injustices


Injuries of the Past 8 Days:
1 bruised knee, from running into dresser
1 scraped up leg, from falling in the parking lot
2 burns on my arm, from ironing Bryan's shirt
1 burn on my hand, from the curling iron this morning

I am in self-destruct-mode.


Campus is ghostly quiet. Is it strange that I prefer it this way? In my over-emotional state, which has come more often than not these past few months, I hope for an entire day of a student-free office. And boss-free too, I'll admit.


Ah, my overemotional state. Never so many tears and injustices! Yesterday after another occurrence of family drama and the tears and the phone calls and the being calmed down again. Of course, after that, anything else that happens is terrible. I read somewhere an offhand remark by a christian singer that no one reads poetry. I was furious! Furious! I am someone! I read poetry!

but mostly I was just upset about the family drama. And wanted someone else, whom I didn't love, or didn't even know, to be angry with.


"No one reads poetry." "No one reads books." "The Novel is dead." "Paper-books are of the past" "Bookstores are dinosaurs" "Poetry book contests are rigged"

blah blah blah

I used to follow the doom-sayers more closely but I've grown so tired of hearing it. What I hear, when people say those things, is that what I love is irrelevant. I'm not even 25 yet, and what I've focused my primary work ambitions on is completely irrelevant. That I am wasting my time. That not only will no one read what I write, there won't even be bookstores for them to buy what I write in, IF I can manage to get published.

If I'm irrelevant than I am irrelevant. I don't care a straw. Its not going to keep me from loving what I love, reading what I read, nosing around in bookstores for hours upon hours, and writing

and writing and writing


  1. I'm sorry...I think I posted that comment from the singer you mentioned, Andrew Peterson. I think you should know - he writes poetry, too, and I think it was more of a self-disparaging comment than meant as something against poetry. And I didn't mean to spread the negativity. :( I am so sorry that that comment discouraged you. I posted it because I was like, "Yeah, sometimes it feels like no one cares about poetry, but I'm gonna write it anyway! Down with haters!" I can see how it didn't come across that way, though.

    I also think I post a lot about doom-sayers, but that's not "Heather the writer" posting those things. I have to keep up with it for work because we talk about that stuff in meetings so much. I'm so sorry if I've discouraged you with it! Agh. Makes me never want to post anything like that again!

    I think, to me, all of the doom&gloom with paper books and bookstores is also upsetting. I was in Barnes & Noble with Tyson recently...just browsing...and I talked to him about how much I Hated the idea of there not being bookstores. We were looking for Christmas presents and I loved wandering the aisles, looking for books for my family and friends. But then I looked at the prices and said, "I can get this cheaper on Amazon." And I didn't buy from a bookstore. I bought the books I wanted online because I got free shipping and the titles I wanted were $5 cheaper apiece online. And I noted to Tyson, "People like me are the reason bookstores are dying. I don't buy $25.99 hardcovers at Barnes & Noble."

    Here's what I think would be best: Bookstores DO mark their prices up. And, seriously, if Amazon can offer these prices so low AND ship it to you for free (if you order over $25 - which I almost always do - I will wait until I have enough to order $25 to get it all shipped free), then bookstores can probably offer them cheaply to you Now, without even spending extra on shipping the books to you. So I think bookstores need to lower their prices - in this economy, those $25 hardcovers Aren't selling. People are going online and buying used or buying discount. So, I think, that bookstores can most definitely survive - they just have to be more sensitive to the economy we're in, and they're not doing that. Prices are, in fact, being raised.

    The paper book...I don't think the physical book is going out of style anytime soon, but I do think people will be reading more books on their phones, iPads, or what have you, than before. But that's actually not a bad thing, to me. It's just one more way they can get your book - the physical version included. People still sell CDs even though you can get the mp3 on iTunes. It's just an option for consumers. And many (myself included) still prefer the physical book because you can lend it, sell it, and own it more completely than you can an ebook, I feel. I can't remember if I've sent this video to you before, but if I haven't, I think you'll enjoy this and agree with it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4BK_2VULCU

    I'll try to tone down all the doom&gloom! I actually feel really positive about the future of books and publishing. I just see it as reporting news bites, I think, but I can definitely see how it could be taken negatively and I definitely don't want to do that. :(

  2. And I forgot to say...I'm so, so sorry about family drama. If you feel like talking about it, I am here for you. I love you!

  3. Oh no...did that really just get erased? I just wrote a hugely long comment! I'll try to remember everything I said.

  4. I feel like the original feeling is going to be sucked out of this comment because I was so thorough in my first comment...bah. Anyway, I'll try to remember what I wrote...

    I think I'm the one who posted the comment from the Christian singer, Andrew Peterson. But I just wanted to say I think Andrew (and myself, too) meant it in a different way than you took it! Andrew's also a poet (in addition to being a singer) and I think the comment was more meant along the lines of, "I write poetry. It's sad that more people read twitter than poetry." It was meant as more of a disparaging comment. I re-posted it because I wanted to say, "Yes, so true! Why do people waste time on Twitter when they could be reading good poems??" I'm sorry if it came across differently! Andrew Peterson is a great writer...I'd hate if you got a different impression of him from my tweet. :(

    Also, I have great hope for bookstores! I think I post a lot of doom&gloom because I'm encouraged to report publishing news for my job, but I didn't know it was having this effect on you! I can try to post more positive things. To me, it feels more like a challenge...like there are so many amazing possibilities for books and publishing right now...rather than a defeat. But I can definitely see how it would be taken otherwise.

    I'm so sorry if I've been discouraging and I'll do my best to do better. :(

  5. i'll email you about it...

    don't feel bad, i read things from publishers and presses all the time that are much more negative than that, i probably just need to monitor my negativity-intake, especially on days where i'm liable to be crazy